Let’s be honest: some years just suck.
They leave us stretched thin, disappointed, unmotivated, and unsure how to make sense of it all. Maybe it was a year of big change. Maybe it was painfully stagnant. Maybe everything looked fine on the outside, but felt off on the inside.
Or maybe it was a year lived fully in your values, but not one you would’ve ever chosen, like mine.
At the start of 2024, we found out my dad had pancreatic cancer—one of the most aggressive, fatal cancers. I committed in that moment to be there. To be there to organize doctors, pick-up medicine, make foods, clean the house, communicate to family, and beyond that to support, love, and enjoy/savor our time together as I knew it would soon come to an end.
On December 14th, almost one year after diagnosis, my dad took his last breaths.
Looking back, it was a deeply fulfilling year. And it was also a year soaked in grief—not just for the loss of him, but for the loss of a whole year where none of my time was truly my own. I was prioritizing my dad, and that meant I was deprioritizing other things (my husband and kids, my health, and things that filled my own cup).
I wouldn’t have changed a single thing about it; I’m forever grateful for the experience. And I’m also sad because of a year of my 2&5 year-olds life, I wasn’t there for everything liked I’d want. Yes, both can be true.
If you’ve lived through something like this, whether it was burnout, crises, caregiving, or just a stretch of life that asked so much of you, this reflection is for you.
Because before we rush to set shiny new goals or create color-coded plans, I want to invite you to do something else first:
Pause. Reflect. Process.
Not to fix anything—but to honor what this year took, and what it gave.
Here are five reflection questions that have helped me begin to make sense of a year I didn’t choose, but still grew through.
1. What are 3 words that describe this past year?
This isn’t about being poetic. It’s about distilling the vibe into just three words.
Were you growing? Drifting? Grieving? Rebuilding? Laughing?
This question helps you name your experience, which is a powerful step in not being ruled by it.
2. What surprised you about yourself?
Sometimes we don’t notice how much we’ve changed until we stop to look.
Did you stand up for yourself in a way you didn’t expect?
Did you keep going when you thought you had nothing left?
Did you learn a new hobby, break a pattern that wasn’t serving you, leave a toxic job, start a new workout routine, drink more water?
When you surprise yourself, it’s a clue that growth happened under the surface.
3. What did you tolerate?
Not everything we accept is aligned with what we want or deserve.
What did you put up with this year—quietly or not—that drained you, diminished you, or simply didn’t feel good?
This isn’t about blame. It’s about clarity.
Tolerating things, whether it’s a toxic dynamic, a pattern of overworking, shoes that are too tight, or even entertaining the talk track your inner critic recites, can quietly reveal the ways we might be complicit in our own stuckness.
That doesn’t make you wrong. It makes you honest. And that honesty can be the beginning of something new.
Let what you tolerated teach you. Let it shape your boundaries this year and every year moving forward.
Your soft but steady “no more.”
4. What was one tiny thing that brought you joy?
Reflection doesn’t have to be heavy.
What made you laugh on an ordinary Tuesday? What did your body love?
This question reminds of a profound statement my yoga instructor said in class one day, “Moments don’t have to be extraordinary to be worthwhile.” When you acknowledge that tininess can bring joy, you see that beauty and delight are always available, even in the hardest of moments or years.
5. What lesson from this year are you carrying forward?
Here’s where we alchemize the year—turn the chaos into wisdom.
What did this year teach you about yourself, others, your desires, your limits?
Don’t worry if it’s not a clean “lesson.” Even a whisper of insight is gold and will help you to remember and apply it to improve every year moving forward.
Want the full set of questions?
If any of these questions sparked something for you, I’d love to share the full guide I’ve created:
✨ The New Year Mastery Workbook ✨
It’s a self-paced reflection and planning workbook designed to help you:
- Close out the year with intention
- Reflect with honesty and warmth
- See and clarify who you’re becoming
- Set goals that actually feel good to pursue
Whether your year was full of magic, mess, or a bit of both — this is your invitation to process it with care.
Because clarity isn’t something we stumble into.
It’s something we create.
